Why Is Carly Rae Jepsen's Song So Damn Good?

By John Wong on March 2, 2015

Disclaimer: I know it’s only February, but this is definitely the best summer song of 2015 (so far).

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Well, it’s been almost three years to the day since Carly Rae Jepsen’s infectious ditty “Call Me Maybe” assaulted our ear canals and sent us into a six month period of nauseating, clinical inflammatory bowel disease suffering. I mean, literally it was the worst song ever “written” (and I use that word very liberally here) and yet it was unavoidable everywhere you turned. I’m not surprised to be completely honest, since this is the girl who became famous by eating Justin Bieber’s dingleberries.

I myself have even been guilty of playing the song in social settings before and singing along to every single lyric with people, who I’m assuming all enjoyed the song ironically. Then Carly Rae tried squeezing every last droplet of relevance out of her by guest featuring on that God-awful Owl City song you heard on the Kid’s Choice Awards promos before fading into obscurity for the better part of 2012-2014. Cue everyone’s collective sigh of relief.

But just a few short moments ago while dicking around on the Internet, I stumbled across this article, with the headline “Carly Rae Jepsen Finally Releases Followup to ‘Call Me Maybe.’”

Naturally, I thought to myself, “Oh God. Here we go again.” But I like to think of myself as having an open mind, and so I clicked on the link, scrolled past the article and immediately hit play. The song started. The opening chords are airy and ethereal and immediately brought me back to those sweet summer days. The drum beat started, and Carly Rae Jepsen began to breathe new life into me: “I really wanna stop, but I just got a taste for it.”

Baby, don’t stop there. I want the whole damn pie.

The chorus is almost pop perfection, with dramatic synths, drums and cymbals providing a glossy sonic background to Carly’s anthemic vocals talking about how she ”really, really, really, really, really, really like you.” Hey, nobody said the songwriting was of any quality.

I get to the bridge portion of the song and at this point I’m already raptured. Then Carly brings us all back home as she whisper-sings: “Yeah, I need to tell you something,” and you can almost feel her warm breath down your neck as the words creep out of her mouth.

Okay, so maybe she says the word “really” 67 times at last count, and at the end of the day, this song’s target audience is still preteen girls and gay guys, but I can say beyond a shadow of a doubt that it absolutely slaughters “Call Me Maybe” and left it to die in the streets.

This is definitely a song I will be playing on full blast in mid-July driving down the highway with my friends in a convertible, top-down on my way to the beach. Well played, Carly Rae Jepsen. I really, really, really, really, really, really like your song.

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